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What matters

So Silver,
The grey wolf howled
With tears it smear
A beauty sparked

Fawn and white,
It’s only friend, a gazelle
Could see the wolf’s light
And a creepy smell

It was so dark
The wolf killed
Like the prince of Bismarck
Feasted and filled

 

Shazmeen Haq : http://infinitehexes.tumblr.com/

 

 

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Can we play a little game of make belief?

where the sun rises from the west and sets in the east

We’re all a little lost can’t you see?

we derive from our destinations and fall apart at the seams

You dance into the fire of love

You center yourself at the core of the flame and day by day you forget your name

The birds don’t fly in the sky above

They sprout their wings from beneath the ground

and snap their necks without a sound

Every eye you meet on the streets

gleam with shame and deprivation

laced with grim and complications

 

Can we fantasize a little of our past?

where the girl you craved loved you back and the boy didn’t break your heart

You come back home with your head hung low

you’re greeted with a tray of cake and not coaxed into a ditch of disgrace

You don’t humiliate yourself

You look into the eyes of the perpetrators and fight with vanity and reason

You don’t feel your demons birthing

from the rage that resides within you and the scars do fade away

Every eye you meet on the streets

gleam with joy and fascination

laced with hope and admiration

 

Can we play a little game of love?

where you spark a smile on their faces and the violins roar to life

We’re all a little broken can’t you see?

We can mend our hearts with passion and not lose our dignity

You spill your wisdom all over the room

You show them how to be kind and gentle and not put a bullet in their endeavors

You grip their hands with warmth and affection

Don’t let them fall into the pit

somehow you’ll ponder in defeat

Every eye you meet on the streets

every soul is drenched in the rain

laced with exhaustion and pain

Disdain

I am wasting more time since my last bottle of Gin
I’ve been counting stars wrong as my vision’s still bleak.
I trigger my emotions, I console myself,
Little by little, it makes no sense.
I’ve been drowning too much, in the salt water I’ve trusted
And it feels like I’m losing myself as hardship converges.
I used to like the blue hat that my father once bought me
But the storm took it away and there’s no memory.
My grandmothers promise ring was mine to give out
But I chose the wrong finger and it quivered my trust.
My mother’s last meal was shrimp on a grill
But I anguished my anger and she calmly went to sleep.
My grandfather told me never to hide my feelings,
Once I opened up, there were no words that could console me.
My uncle would buy me video games and I played like a kid
But small packs of intoxication, put him to sleep.
The one person whom I loved I can never see,
Is the man as a father who loved no one more than me.
I was taught to give love and I loved wholeheartedly
In return, I was abandoned by love and welcomed by misery.
I mourned the day my best friend died,
She was young and full of life.
I still recall her; remembering our last fight
She wouldn’t talk, and I didn’t try.
Never will I ever be able to ask for forgiveness
But I’ll write her a letter,
To the sky where she resides,
In the hope that she gets it, and accepts my respite.
Dear heathens, sing me a lullaby,
The loudest of them all,
My dry lungs are filled with disgust,
And I want to rest for a while.
                                                                                         – Noor-Ul-Huda

Asphalt

In my dreams, the roads have an end unlike the many roads I’ve traveled in my life so far. The many cities I have driven across never had a dead-end. Some went spiraling up and down the mountain and some had the sea by its side, but the ones I see while I’m sleeping always succumb the car in its deathly, hollowed water. I see golden clouds and Gregorian buildings and blue swings hanging from purple trees. As colorful as it may seem, it is as empty as the husk of a broken man. The only thing that makes it worthwhile is my  solitary walk down the road. I am alone with my raging thoughts on the black asphalt, making a quest to the black waters. I walk the roads alone. I walk them with no hope.

The hidden inconveniences

Issue: 1_The Inconvenient Truth About Love 

I am commonly known as the grumpy cat amongst my friends. Contrasting to how it may sound, being a grumpy cat has a certain charm to it. Sort of gives you the badass yet cute-adorable persona. The grumpy cat behavior in me is, I think, the result of spending all the bekar (meaning – unemployed, for all the non-Bengali readers) time into pondering about life and how things in society really work as opposed to how they appear to work. Hence for my first write up I would like to bring up the topic of love which itself has a hidden value to it. What do I mean by hidden value? I will explain. We live in a time where people are too cool to be romantic. Romance is dead; bring on the new era of dating and hooking up. Love is no longer a grand realization. Kids are dating and then dating each other’s friends and everyone is like cool and casual about it, but mind you love is still very much alive in everyone. They might not act as if they value it but you will never know the agony of a teenager who is single or how everyone secretly wishes they had someone. Love is still very much valued but not shown in public these days and moreover is still a mystery and a cause of frustration amongst many, so I will write about what I have learned from studying and observing.

The very first message I want to give out to everyone out there is- no matter what you have believed in, or seen in Hindi movies or in any romance obsessed video composition, the inconvenient truth is that –

“Guys will always ogle at and talk about the hottest girl around will eventually fall for the girl who makes him feel like a ‘man’ and be the support or the best friend that he always wanted. Girls on the other hand will always talk about being with the man who is always there for her, makes her feel secure and becomes her best friend with who she can share all her secrets but will always end up being helplessly attracted to the man who is keeping her excited and emotions running and someone she can put an effort into.”

Now how or why girls and boys work like that is a different topic altogether and that is not what I want to talk about because I feel it is how nature has designed us genders specifically and discussing or arguing about it is like arguing about gravity. It is just how nature works and the faster you accept it the better for you. I want to talk to about the effects and actions that we can affect us of such nature of the male and female gender.

 

Now some of you might not even agree to begin with or like what I just said but I urge you all to closely observe all the couples around you and even your own relation if you are into any and see how much do I make sense. I am not saying that what is said is always the case and most of the time I have found it to be true. This is why a guy who goes out with the hottest girls keeps on going for other hot girls because he does not get the friend or support he needs and thinks this love and relation is just a game and he is scoring and building rep.  This is also why girls often end up falling for guys about whom they will complain about all the time but will never leave because unknowingly they are attracted to those kind of boys and it also explains why a lot of girls friendzone that perfectly caring and trust worthy guy who was always there for her.

So what do we do oh great one you ask? Of course there are a few things I can say to help the readers out  (because obviously telling what to do is easier than doing it yourself. Hehe).  If you are a girl and want to get the attention of the guy, be his friend, make him feel as if you are involved in his matters and know that there is a difference between being involved or understanding him and getting involved WITH him. A lot of girls make the guys devote in the girl all the time which as a result makes the guy get bored after a while. Do not make the relationship about your problems and how he should always treat you. Instead try to understand him. Being a guy might not be as tough as being a girl but us guys have a whole range of different issues we want to be understood and helped with. Also keep in mind you have to do all of this with a feminine touch so that you don’t become another bro in the squad.  As for guys, you might hate to hear it but if you are failing or getting friendzoned then you have to improve the quality of your presence. Make her laugh in a sexy way (because clowns and jokers also make you laugh but no girl says I love that clown), become an interesting person with a vision or passion, develop a personality, learn a new skill. While doing all of that definitely learn to not pick up her call once in a while or let her find her own salvation a few times. I am sure that has been a lot of ours (and specially my) main issue. Sometimes we care too much to let her spend a second alone. Lend an ear but avoid actively engaging every time because as painful as it is to see her in distress you need to avoid the friendzone. When giving time to girls it is always quality over quantity if you want her love.  And last but not the least whether you are a girl or a boy you must learn to love and work on yourself before anything else. You might do everything right but if you reek of self hatred or disregard for your own self people will end up disliking you.

I hope I have kept my writing interesting and insightful and helped people come closer to unlocking the mysteries of the conundrum known as love. I will come back with more hidden inconveniences we often look by to acknowledge with my grumpy straight forward point of view. Till the next time you hear from me I hope you all have a lovely day.

 

Signing out.

Grumpy Cat

Rakib Islam A.K.A Grumpy Cat

সময় (Time)

জীবনে কখনো কোন কিছু থেমে থাকে না। ঐ যে বলেনা “Time and tide waits for none”। এরকম কিছু মানুষ আছে যারা কখনও কারো জন্য থেমে থাকেনি। মিতিও ছিল তেমন একজন যে কখনই কারো জন্য থামেনি। হয়তো এমনই হতো যদি সেদিন ও সময় মতো বাস ধরতে পারতো। একটুর জন্য বাসটা ছুটে যায় সেইদিন। ফলাফল স্বরূপ রিক্সায় করে যেতে হয় তাকে ক্লাস ধরতে। ভার্সিটিতে পৌঁছানোর পর দেখে প্রচুর ভিড় তার ডিপার্টমেন্টের সামনে। সে রিক্সা থেকে নেমে দেখে কিছু ছাত্রছাত্রী রাস্তায় বসে আন্দোলন করছে। তাদের নেতৃত্ব দিছে উস্খখুস্ক চুলের অধিকারী একটি ছেলে। ছেলেটিকে এক নজর দেখে মিতি দৌড় দিল ক্লাসে। মিতি ক্লাস শেষে বের হয়ে দেখে কিছু মানুষ সেই ছেলেটিকে টেনে হেঁচড়ে নিয়ে যাচ্ছে, মিতি আর সেদিকে গ্রাহ্য না করে নিজের মতো চলে গেল। পরেরদিন ভার্সিটির ক্যান্টিনে দেখে ছেলেটি অন্যমনস্ক হয়ে বসে চা খাচ্ছে। ওর চোখ মুখ ফুলে আছে, মিতি বুঝল ওকে পেটানো হয়েছে। মিতি ওর নিজের মতো করে ছেলেটিকে পাশ কাটিয়ে পাশের টেবিলে গিয়ে বসলো। মিতি ওর বন্ধুদের কাছে জানতে পারলো ছেলেটির নাম রুদ্র। সে ছাত্র উনিয়নের সাথে জড়িত।রুদ্র বরাবরই একটু অন্যমনস্ক, ছোট থেকেই এমন। ছোট থাকতেই রুদ্র ওর মাকে হারিয়েছে, আর বাবাকে ব্যবসার কারণে বেশির ভাগ সময়ই কাছে পায়নি। ও সম্পূর্ণ নিজের মতো করে বড় হয়েছে। বন্ধু বলতে ওর কেবল ছিল ক্যামেরা আর স্বপ্ন। জীবনকে ক্যামেরা বন্দি করতে চেয়েছিল ও। অন্যের সুখ ক্যামেরা বন্দি করে নিজে সুখি হতে চেয়েছিল।  হয়তো গল্পটা এখানেই শেষ হত, যদি না মিতি তার পরেরদিন রুদ্রর উপর ওর রাগটা দেখাতো। রুদ্র চুপচাপ নিজের মত বসে ছিল সিঁড়িতে, সিঁড়ি দিয়ে নামার সময় মিতির ওড়নাটা রুদ্রর গায়ে কোন ভাবে জড়িয়ে যায়। রুদ্র অন্যমনস্ক থাকায় ব্যাপারটা একদমই খেয়াল করেনি, কিন্তু মিতি রুদ্রকে রীতিমত ঝাড়ি দিয়ে বসে। আর রুদ্র নিস্পলক দৃষ্টিতে কিছু না বুঝে, কিছু না বলে মিতির ঝাড়ি শুনতে থাকে। রুদ্রর এই নিস্পলক চাহনিতে মিতি আরও ক্ষেপে যায়। অন্য কিছু বলার আগেই রুদ্র ওখান থেকে উঠে চলে যায়। মিতি ওর পিছে যেত যদি না ওর বান্ধবিরা ওকে আটকিয়ে বলতো যে রুদ্রর কোন দোষ ছিল না। মিতি তখনও নিজের রাগের জন্য কিচ্ছু শুনতে চায়নি কিন্তু একটু পরে নিজের ভুল ঠিকই বুঝতে পারে। নিজের ভুলের জন্য সেদিন রাতে ঠিক মত ঘুমাতে পারেনি মিতি। পরেরদিন ঠিক সেই সময়ে ও রুদ্রকে সিঁড়িতে এবং ক্যান্টিনে খুঁজে বেড়িয়েছে কিন্তু পায়নি। একদিন মিতি দেখে রুদ্রর সাথে যারা ওইদিন আন্দোলনে জড়িত ছিল ওরা ক্যান্টিনে বসে আছে। মিতি ওদের জিজ্ঞেস করে রুদ্র কোথায়? ওরা বলে রুদ্রকে ঐদিন কিছু মানুষ ডেকে নিয়ে যায় যেইদিন মিতি রুদ্রকে সিঁড়িতে দেখছিল। তারপর থেকে ওকে আর পাওয়া যাচ্ছে না। এটা শোনার পর মিতি বাকরুদ্ধ হয়ে যায়। বলা বাহুল্য রুদ্রকে ছাত্র রাজনীতির দায়ে হারিয়ে যেতে হয়েছে। ঐদিনের পর রুদ্রকে আর খুঁজে পাওয়া যায়নি। কালেই বিবর্তনে সবাই ভুলেও গেছে রুদ্রর অস্তিত্ব। কিন্তু যেই মিতি কারো জন্য অপেক্ষা করতো না সে আজও রুদ্রর অপেক্ষায় আছে শুধু মাত্র ক্ষমা চাওয়ার আশায়……।

Nafis Imtiaz Rahman Anindya 

Tears for the boy who cried for mine

​Hi!

May I please melt in your arms & cry?

For all the pain I caused you but you only cried for mine?

May I please cry for all the time I hurt you but you didn’t cry ’cause you wanted to keep me around?

Even though you knew I’d hurt you more & keep hurting you?

May I melt in your arms & cry some more?

Because as I do for all the scars I gave you, you’d still adore me as if I’m the one who is worth it?

Because you’d still lie to me & tell me I didn’t hurt you?

Can I cry in your arms & melt away?

Because as I return each tear I owe you, you’d give me a kiss anew?

Can I cry & cry some more in your arms?

Because when I say I’m a bad person, you’d lie to me again & say that I’m not?

& because you think it’s not a lie?

Can I melt in your arms & cry?

For all the time I gave you pain?

But you only cried for mine, my darling?

                                       Kazi Rahatul Zannat

​Knees are swaying aimlessly 

My legs are crossed

Waiting for the buzz to leave

So I can get home

Lying beneath the surface

I dug myself a grave

To feel what it’s like to be

Underneath the sand 

And the rain falls so hard

On top of my land

I know it’s dripping

I can feel the healing

And the rain falls so low

Low as my torso

Because I’m buried

6 ft under the ground

She grew in, a new skin

I was in a burden of pain, slowly drowning within her thoughts. The thoughts I had, made me go insane. Going quietly mad? You could say that. Sleepless nights and drowsy mornings. Even my favorite coffee couldn’t cheer me up. How long? How much longer in this dungeon? How much longer will this stinging feeling stay in my heart? How many more nights will I cry? All I could think were these questions, with no answer.

No answer? Why not? I could just stop. So why don’t I? This new city, isn’t it supposed to change me? But, it didn’t.

I grew into a new me. I have not changed from who I used to be. This is a new skin. I have forgiven you and I also left that girl behind. The girl who would say sorry every time you’d be mad. The girl who would wait hours after hours for just one text from you. The girl who once felt she had lost all her dignity. The girl who was once waiting, for void.

I don’t wait anymore, for I am reckless. I always was, that’s my beauty. Something you couldn’t appreciate. You couldn’t appreciate my existence, you couldn’t appreciate my love. You couldn’t appreciate me.

I don’t say sorry as often as I used to. I don’t waste my time on people who are just here for me for the time being. I haven’t forgotten that girl, either. But I’m not that girl anymore. I am forbearing now. I am me. Strong, beautiful, confident and happy with the little things. I know I may not be destined to be contented, I may not get the things I want. But I am satisfied with what I have, the people around me, the things and the memories. The memories, something I can hold on to, forever.

I have grown into a new skin. I feel fresh and alive.

Tabassum Siddique Ritu-  https://tabbytruthful.wordpress.com

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